Morning Traffic and a Heart Searing Lesson

The morning rush.  Sitting in traffic...lots of traffic.  I've got to get these children to school on time.  We did not leave as early as I wanted to.  We may make it on time, but it will be close.  Approaching the freeway onramp, I see three lanes of cars waiting to enter the freeway.  Up ahead, there are three lights side by side where cars stop and wait their turn to step on the gas and speed onto the fast-moving freeway traffic.


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I pull into the middle lane and begin my wait.  I notice as I am waiting that the car in the lane to my left is uncomfortably close to me and moving closer as we inch ahead.  The nose of her car is not ahead of me.  Rather, the front of her car is a foot or two behind my front bumper.  It feels like she is trying to run me out of the lane as she moves closer and closer.  Appalled at this pushy driver next to me, I inch closer to the bumper of the car in front of me.  Why doesn't she stay behind the car in her own lane?  She is so obnoxiously pushy.  If she was wanting to merge, she would have gently put the nose of her car in between my car and the one in front of me.  I won't be run out here.  I'm going to stick my ground.  We're all going to get there.

She is right next to me and the lights up ahead alternate lanes.  What is she hoping to gain?  I stick my ground, but she is obstinate.  She inches ever closer to me, and I don't want us to collide.  Beginning to fear that she will hit me, I am becoming more uncomfortable with every movement.  I look right and notice there is room for me to move into the right lane.  I quickly move over, feeling defeated and angry at that woman who basically ran me out of my lane.

Having moved over, I am feeling self-righteous about being the one with the decency to give in and let her have her way.  It's not that big of a deal.  What a jerk.  She's probably over there gloating.  Grrr.  Oh, look!  There is space for me to actually pull in front of the car I was behind in the middle lane!  That would show her.  I would have to gun it, though.  I'm not that proud.  I can patiently wait my turn.  Oh, I am so bothered at the audacity of that woman!  What a jerk.  She pushed me out of my lane.  So rude.

I notice as we get closer to the lights, that even though there are three lights, the three lanes are merging into the center lane.  Just as it is my turn to merge into the center, right into the spot I would have been--behind the car I was originally behind--I notice in my left side mirror as "that woman" guns forward to shut me out.  "uuhhhhhh.  What a jerk!"  I exclaim.  Now I was furious inside...  I should have been as obstinate as she had been, and pushed my way so close that she would have feared hitting me.  I really was all worked up inside...my emotions surging.

Bothered that I was all worked up over such an unimportant thing, I began to think. In my thoughts, I realized she could have thought I was just as belligerant.  She probably saw from the beginning that she needed to get into the middle lane in order to go through the light.  When she was inching over, and I was not letting her in, maybe she began to think that I was the one who needed a polite driver lesson. Maybe she refused to let me in on my turn just to show me how it feels.

Hmmm.  I wonder how often perception gets in the way of loving relationships.  I wonder how often our interpretation of the actions of another is not quite right.  I wonder when we are so sure we are in the right, and we are self-righteously stepping aside to let someone else act out their moment...what they are truly feeling inside.  What do they see?  What does it look like from their driver seat?  What is guiding their actions?

I wonder how many hurt feelings could be saved, how many relationships would be healed if we could literally walk in the shoes of another for a moment of the day...how much more merciful we might become...

Another experience I lived recently was not so trivial.  I fear my words seemed so unfeeling and belligerant to another.  I fear I hurt the feelings of someone I love and adore, who has blessed my life so beautifully...someone I respect so deeply.  Betraying her trust is the last thing I would want to do, and yet I could understand if she feels betrayed.

I asked forgiveness and have yet to hear back.  I have agonized over this.  I cannot expect that she will believe my intention was loving, though it was.  I was wanting to offer answers and open up hope.  I believe the opposite may have occured.  I do not know if she will trust me again.  Oh, how I wish she could step into my shoes and experience from my perspective what has taken place, what is in my heart.  The best I can do is ask for God's forgiveness and that He will send blessings tenfold upon her, whether I hear back or not...

The traffic example taught me the power of perspective, and from her perspective this dear woman I love may feel it best to shut me out. 

What a costly lesson for me to learn. 

Perspective is powerful, and negative emotions left to simmer will destroy your greatest desires.  Honor God with every experience.  Focus on the lesson learned, and go forward feeling thankful for it.  It can bless your path ahead forever more.